


In the Shuffling of Dreams

by Eienvine



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Drabbles, F/M, Shuffle Challenge, Sifki Week 2020, iPod drabble challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25994203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eienvine/pseuds/Eienvine
Summary: Over the centuries, they have loved each other and they have hated each other; they have been friends, enemies, and everything in-between. Maybe, in the end, they will be allowed to just be happy.
Relationships: Loki/Sif (Marvel)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 40





	In the Shuffling of Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> So this is rather a different take on the Sifki Week day 4 prompt: challenge.
> 
> A few sarcastic and self-deprecating words of explanation to those not as ancient as me: you see, when I was your age, there was a thing called an "iPod." It was like an iPhone, except it only played music and a few terrible games. There was also a thing called a "drabble," which is a largely forgotten art consisting of stories of exactly 100 words. And we used to combine these two to do a thing called an "iPod drabble challenge," or a "shuffle challenge," which was when you put your iPod on shuffle and wrote a drabble based on each song that came up.
> 
> Of course, with my iPod gathering dust in a drawer somewhere, I had to settle for Spotify, and my "Your Top Songs 2019" playlist. And I definitely skipped songs that didn't fit Sifki. But, you know, the idea is there.
> 
> The drabbles in this collection all take place in an AU where Loki survived Infinity War and is now living in New Asgard with Thor. I mostly wrote them in the order that the songs came up on Spotify, so the timeline bounces around like crazy.
> 
> In closing, a quick word in my own defense: yes, I chose the title because this is a shuffle challenge and I am a total cheeseball, BUT ALSO it's a line from ELP's Closer to Believing, which makes an appearance in this fic. So it's not completely cheesy. I hope.

. . . . . .

 **You Couldn’t Have Come at a Better Time**  
Luka Bloom

 _We were so good for each other then; I know we could be still . . ._ _  
_ _When you look into my eyes, my love, tell me what you see:_ _  
_ _Is it something you’re not sure of? Is it something true and fine?_ _  
_ _Or is it just another case of the right thing at the wrong time?_

. . . . . .

The spacecraft lands in New Asgard, and Loki decides he was wrong: he’s not ready for this.

But it’s too late: the hatch opens, and for the first time in years, Loki locks eyes with Sif. Their whole history flashes before him then: years of hatred and mistrust, but before that, centuries of idyllic youth, when she was the dearest person in the world to him and he dared to hope she’d someday feel the same.

Her eyes narrow, and his hopes sink. But after several eternities, her expression softens; her nod is grave, but not hostile.

Loki’s heart sings.

. . . . . .

 **Tidal Wave**  
Owl City

 _All my life I wish I broke mirrors instead of promises_ _  
_ _'Cause all I see is a shattered conscience staring right back at me . . ._ _  
_ _It hurts just to wake up whenever you're wearing thin_ _  
_ _Alone on the outside, so tired of looking in_

. . . . . .

Thor just laughs when he’s restored to his natural form, seeing the trick as harmless fun; he always just laughs, never suspecting the resentment that fuels Loki’s pranks.

But Sif gives him a long look as she passes—somber, considering, not entirely friendly—and for a moment, Loki’s better angels win out. _Why_ does he always feel the need to vex, needle and exasperate? Why can’t he try harder to get along with everyone? 

But then he sees the Three approach Sif and Thor and form a circle as they chat, unconsciously excluding Loki. As always.

Ah, yes, that’s why.

. . . . . .

 **Lonely Town**  
Brandon Flowers

 _Do you hear the phone when I call? Do you hear the thud when I fall?_ _  
_ _Do you hear the crack when I break?_ _  
_ _Did you lock the door when it shut? Did you see the knife when it cut?_ _  
_ _Do you keep your ear to the ground for the kid in Lonely Town?_

. . . . . .

Loki says nothing, shows nothing, as he’s sentenced and led away in chains . . . until he sees Sif, standing at the door of the dungeon, and something inside him cracks.

Despite his best efforts, he’d thought of Asgard constantly after his fall: What was Thor’s reaction? How fared Frigga? And what did Sif think of him now? Did she know the truth? Did she sympathize? Was she sorry he was gone? Did she ever think of him?

But Sif shows no expression, no recognition. And Loki knows that in this, as in so many things, he has been an utter fool.

. . . . . .

 **Somewhere in the Mountains, Somewhere in New York**  
The Tallest Man on Earth

 _Hanging on the dream of you, I will fall through days_ _  
_ _But I get up stubborn, all your warmth and funny ways . . ._ _  
_ _Somewhere in the mountains and somewhere in New York_ _  
_ _We'll forget the hour and the long, long road_

. . . . . .

“How’d Thor convince you to hike with me?”

“I volunteered.”

He doesn’t believe her. She doesn’t blame him; things have been uneasy between them since she settled in New Asgard a month ago.

But it’s true. Thor insists Loki has truly changed, and there’s a piece of Sif’s heart that insists on seeing for itself: a piece that never stopped hoping.

In New Asgard, Loki is still prickly, skittish, haunted. But here in the mountains, with his face lifted toward the sun, there’s a peace and stillness to him that Sif hasn’t seen in years.

And that gives her hope.

. . . . . .

 **Opportunities**  
Pet Shop Boys

 _If you've got the inclination, I’ve got the crime_ _  
_ _I've got the brains, you've got the looks:_ _  
_ _Let's make lots of money_

. . . . . .

“What if we get caught? You know Magni doesn’t like girls training.”

“No one comes in here at night,” says Loki with juvenile confidence. “And once my father sees how good you are at what I teach you, he’ll _make_ Magni train you with me and Thor.”

Encouraged, she accepts the practice sword he’s offering.

“Now, stand like so—and hold it like this—”

The sword feels _right_ in her hand, and she beams at Loki.

“See?” he boasts. “All my sneaking is good for something.”

“Your sneaking is the best,” she says seriously, and Loki flushes pink with pleasure.

. . . . . .

 **Tip of the Iceberg**  
Owl City

 _Farewell powdery paradise_ _  
_ _We'd rather skate on the thinnest ice_ _  
_ _Fingers failed us before they froze_ _  
_ _And frostbite bit down on all our toes_

. . . . . .

The second they arrive in the icy wasteland, Sif decides she was right: coming here was a bad idea, because Loki looks absolutely stricken. (Understandable, when he’s being reminded he laid waste to his birth realm in a fit of madness and desperation.)

They explore in silence until Loki says wretchedly, “I have to do something. I have to help.”

He’s had enough for today, she decides. “So you shall,” she says. “But let’s discuss it somewhere warm. I’m freezing.”

His eyes soften, and he lets her wrap her arms around him in a warm embrace before magicking them home.

. . . . . .

 **Sovereign Light Cafe**  
Keane

 _I’m begging you for some sign but you still got nothing to say_ _  
_ _Don’t turn your back on me, don’t walk away_ _  
_ _I’m a better man now than I was that day_

. . . . . .

If Loki thought him and Sif both living in New Asgard meant they’d be back in each other’s lives, he thought wrong. She’s staying on the far side of the village, and in a week their paths have never crossed, and that’s starting to feel deliberate on her part.

“She’s got a lot on her mind,” Thor shrugs. “I’m sure you’ll see her soon.”

“I don’t care if I see her,” Loki insists, out of habit.

“Then why’d you bring it up?”

Someone savvier would ask that question with suspicion. Loki supposes it’s a good thing Thor is so dense.

. . . . . .

 **Waving Through a Window**  
Dear Evan Hansen

 _We start with stars in our eyes_ _  
_ _We start believing that we belong_ _  
_ _But every sun doesn’t rise_ _  
_ _And no one tells you where you went wrong_

. . . . . .

When Loki is too young to be embarrassed by the question, he asks Frigga why everyone likes Thor best.

Frigga freezes. Thor is holding court nearby: Fandral and Volstagg have long hung off the prince’s every word, and now the new arrival, Sif, has joined them.

“You are wonderful,” Frigga says fiercely, because how can a mother tell her son that people prefer Thor’s charm and probably always will? “You are my perfect, clever son, and I love you with all my heart.”

Loki accepts this with a smile. But his eyes stray to Thor again, and Frigga’s heart breaks.

. . . . . .

 **As the World Falls Down**  
David Bowie

 _As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you_ _  
_ _Every thrill is gone; wasn’t too much fun at all_ _  
_ _But I’ll be there for you_ _  
_ _As the world falls down_

. . . . . .

She’s standing on a hill overlooking New Asgard, her expression filled with bone-deep sorrow.

“My lady?” he calls quietly.

She jumps and rubs her eyes. “Loki.”

He waits.

“It’s just—”

He waits.

“Thor told me how few survived,” she says finally. “But I didn’t realize—so much death. Asgard destroyed. Everything lost.”

He wishes he had the right to put a comforting arm around her, but he forfeited that right long ago (if he ever had it). 

Still, he can ensure she’s not alone in her grief. So he stands beside her on that lonely hilltop until her sorrow eases.

. . . . . .

 **The Starting Line**  
Keane

 _Drag your heart up to the starting line_ _  
_ _Forget the ghosts that make you old before your time_ _  
_ _It's too easy to get left behind_ _  
_ _I know you've been kicked around_ _  
_ _But tie up your thoughts and lay them down on me_

. . . . . .

Loki wakes with a start in the dead of night, which happens so often that Sif is barely startled.

“Want to talk about it?” she asks, wondering which of his many ghosts is currently haunting him.

“Not just now,” he says quietly, but he turns away from her as he lays back down, and she knows that move: he suddenly feels unworthy of her.

And she can’t allow that to stand. So she slides over to put an arm around his waist and pull him close, pressing a kiss between his shoulderblades.

And slowly, like a glacier melting, he relaxes.

. . . . . .

 **Silenced by the Night**  
Keane

 _I lie in the dark, I feel I'm falling_ _  
_ _Feel your hand on my back, hear your voice calling_ _  
_ _I'm out of my depth, girl, stick close to me_ _  
_ _Because the people in this town, they look straight through me_

. . . . . .

“Are you . . . happy?”

Loki turns to the illusion of the queen and sneers. “What do you think?” he demands, gesturing at his cell.

“Yes, but . . . can I do anything to make you more comfortable?”

_Let me out. Make the guards stop staring at me. Ask Thor and Sif why they never—_

The fight drains out of him, and he doesn’t answer. And once Frigga’s gone, he lays on his cot and stares at the ceiling, feeling conflicted. He doesn’t want Sif and Thor to see him like this. But he wants to see them.

He covers his eyes and sighs.

. . . . . .

 **On the Wing**  
Owl City

 _The open summer breeze will sweep you through the hills_ _  
_ _Where I live in the alpine heights_ _  
_ _Below the Northern Lights, I spend my coldest nights_ _  
_ _Alone, awake and thinking of the weekend we were in love_ _  
_ _(Are you there? Or are you just a decoy dream in my head?)_

. . . . . .

“I’ve heard from Sif,” Thor says conversationally.

It does not matter, Loki tells himself sternly. They are nothing to each other.

And yet he hears himself ask, “And?”

“She’s not ready to join New Asgard yet. But she will, eventually.”

That night, Loki lays awake for hours, remembering not the anger of the last few years, but how, centuries ago, they were friends. How, at one unforgettable Yule Ball, she kissed him in the gardens, then never spoke of it again.

It does not matter, he tells himself again. They are nothing to each other.

Still, his stubborn heart hopes.

. . . . . .

 **Try Everything**  
Shakira

 _I messed up tonight; I lost another fight_ _  
_ _I still mess up but I'll just start again_ _  
_ _I keep falling down; I keep on hitting the ground_ _  
_ _I always get up now to see what's next_

. . . . . .

Loki’s voice, strangely stiff, startles Sif as she leaves the training yard. “My lady, your lip.”

Her hand darts to her mouth, and she realizes she’s bleeding heavily. “I’ll see Eir,” she says dismissively.

“Is it necessary? To let them pummel you?”

“I’m pummeling them too,” she retorts. “And yes, until they take me seriously, it’s necessary.”

The veiled worry in his eyes shifts to understanding; she supposes no one takes him seriously in the training yards either.

“But thank you for your concern,” she adds, and he flushes with embarrassment and strides away.

Sif watches him go and smiles.

. . . . . .

 **Patience**  
Guns N’ Roses

 _I sit here on the stairs ‘cause I’d rather be alone_ _  
_ _If I can’t have you right now, I’ll wait, dear . . ._ _  
_ _Said “Woman, take it slow; it’ll work itself out fine_ _  
_ _All we need is just a little patience.”_

. . . . . .

“Why are you drinking alone if you don’t want to get hit on?”

Sif rolls her eyes as her would-be swain leaves. She enjoys flirting occasionally, but now that she means to visit New Asgard, her thoughts are solely on the princes there.

Charming Thor, who never returned her interest, and she’s learned to accept that.

Treacherous Loki, who she hates now but who she once . . . well, she briefly considered . . .

It doesn’t matter. Centuries have passed; she no longer wants his attentions.

Still, now that Thor insists Loki’s changed his ways, and they’ll be in the same town . . .

Sif wonders.

. . . . . .

 **Even the Darkness Has Arms**  
The Barr Brothers

 _And a light in the window to pass the night through_ _  
_ _May be so uncertain but what can I do . . ._ _  
_ _Sometimes I worry I don't know how to love you_

. . . . . .

Them together is sort of a disaster at first, honestly. Thanos and Asgard’s destruction left scars, and then Loki’s got an extra decade or two of trauma, and sometimes it seems they just aren’t equipped to deal with each other. Conversations about the past are minefields they struggle to navigate, and the simplest conversation can turn into a ground-shaking fight.

But Sif takes a nap one day and has a nightmare, waking with heart pounding and breath heaving, only to see Loki sitting beside her sofa, ready to comfort her.

And she smiles. Maybe they’ll figure this out after all.

. . . . . .

 **On Melancholy Hill**  
Gorillaz

 _Well you can't get what you want but you can get me_ _  
_ _So let's set out to sea_ _  
_ _'Cause you are my medicine when you're close to me_

. . . . . .

It’s Thor’s idea that they go whale watching. Loki knows why he agreed, but he’s not certain about Sif. She must be truly bored: she has little to do in New Asgard, and Thor is frequently busy.

She keeps a wary distance as the boat pulls out of the harbor, but the sunlight glinting off the blue water is soothing, and in time he feels the atmosphere relax.

After a long while, he dares to rest against the rail near her, their elbows nearly brushing. She casts him a guarded look, but does not move.

Loki counts that as progress.

. . . . . .

 **Girls Just Want to Have Fun**  
Cyndi Lauper

 _Some boys take a beautiful girl_ _  
_ _And hide her away from the rest of the world_ _  
_ _I wanna be the one to walk in the sun_ _  
_ _Oh girls, they wanna have fun_

. . . . . .

“You seem furious,” Loki remarks conversationally as Sif storms into the library. “Ambassador’s son again?”

“He said I shouldn’t risk a face like mine on the battlefield.” Her voice is blistering with displeasure. “And that I should focus on getting a husband.”

“And he’s still living?” Loki sounds surprised.

Sif snorts and starts pacing, until Loki’s voice stops her. “He’s wrong, you know. Be whatever you want to be. And you don’t need a husband—unless you want one. You’re perfect as you are.”

She looks over to see him blushing, perhaps at his candor.

And now she’s blushing too.

. . . . . .

 **Closer to Believing**  
Emerson, Lake and Palmer

 _I need me; you need you; we want us_ _  
_ _To be together on Sundays in the rain . . ._  
_So be closer to believing though your world is torn apart . . ._ _  
You are windblown, but you are mine_

. . . . . .

 _There is strength in striking root, and good in growing old,_ Sif reads, and lowers her Midgardian book with a smile.

“What?” asks Loki from the other end of the sofa, his book momentarily forgotten.

Rain slashes against the window, but their little house is snug and warm. His ring glints on her finger, and hers on his. His face has filled out; the bags under his eyes are fading; his demeanor is serene these days. They’ve had neither fight nor nightmare in weeks.

She sits up to kiss him. “We,” she informs him, “are going to be all right.”

. . . . . .

fin


End file.
